Jul 06, 2020
Tribune News Service

Why the friend zone incites aggression

With a major spike in the popularity of technology, the use of social media platforms has allowed individuals to engage one another in pursuit of potential relationships.

Often while browsing one’s direct or personal messages on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, the beginning of a conversation is made, whether it’s wanted or not.

What happens in these conversations can go well and help two people come together and form their own relationship. More often than not, however, the attention given can also be seen as something one party has no interest in.

Whether these advances come from complete strangers, friends or colleagues, the one thing they all have in common is the odds of rejection, which further lead to the dreaded ‘friend zone.’ This is a term often used for when someone wants to take the next step in getting closer with an individual they’re romantically interested in and coming to the realization that a romantic relationship may never develop.

Their hopes being quickly dashed away in regards to a romantic interest between two people incites awkward and uncomfortable feelings, but some individuals aren’t able to adjust to this clear and direct rejection.

This is usually where the nice stranger, friend or colleague shifts their approach and shows aggression through vulgar language and negative, repetitive behavior. Name-calling and derogatory terms are used to belittle and scorn the love interest for not recognizing the efforts and “good nature” of the individual attempting to form a relationship.

The phrase “nice guys finish last” is another form of aggression that men will heavily lean on to provide excuses for unacceptable behavior and personal disappointment in being rejected. Taking this rejection a step further, these “nice guys” are the type of individuals who think that the whole world is against them because one girl refused his advances toward her.

Rather than owning up to the fact that a woman might not find any connection with him, or have any type of physical attraction, “nice guys” express their emotions through sympathetic dialogue that make them seem like undeserving victims who have been mistreated.

Through this type of manipulative mentality, a man can continue to spiral into this negative idea of what it means to find genuine interest toward a potential partner. It’s not about recognizing that because he is a nice person he should therefore be rewarded any partner he wants.

The point is that no one should feel that they are entitled to have an immediate acceptance and reciprocation of their attractions and love interests. In order to have a relationship that benefits both partners, whether it be straight or queer, it’s necessary for everyone to understand that respect is what needs to be universally given. No matter if you’re rejected or find the love of your life.

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