Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned dating? I know that I’ve only been on the planet for a few decades, but I feel like people “back in the day” had it right. Don’t get me wrong, I love living in the 21st Century as much as the next guy. But sometimes it seems as though, as the times changed, dating lost its original meaning and has inadvertently become a much more complicated ordeal.
To me, dating is what you do to get to know someone on a more personal level. You may be thinking, “No, really?” But you would be surprised at how many people take dating much more seriously. It should be relaxed and enjoyable. You shouldn’t be trying to be someone that you’re not, and you should be in it for the fun. You shouldn’t feel like this is your one chance at marriage and if this doesn’t work, it’s game over.
I’ve learned a few things since beginning my dating experience. One thing that’s really important is being yourself, and not being who you think someone wants you to be. Think of it this way, If you buy an apple, you buy it because you want an apple. You would be somewhat frustrated if that apple tasted like an orange, wouldn’t you? If you wanted an orange, you would have bought an orange. The same goes for dating.
If your significant other is dating you, it’s because they like who you are. If you try to be someone else, then they aren’t getting what they wanted, are they?
Another thing I’ve come to realize is the fact that electronic messages contain few signals that truly convey emotion. A text or a Facebook message can be read in an endless number of ways, so you can’t jump to conclusions too quickly. The difference between a flirty “we should talk more often” message and a much more serious “we need to talk” message is one that is much harder to figure out in LCD screen form. I’ve seen people almost go insane trying to figure out “what he meant by that” or “what she’s trying to say.” When you really want to talk to someone, try doing it “the old-fashioned way” and call them. Or, better yet, meet them in person. It really will make things more enjoyable for both of you.
One aspect of dating that I wish was still around is the practice of keeping intimate moments to yourself. I don’t want you to “kiss and tell.” There are some things that really should stay between you and your significant other. Keep it to yourself not only because your friends don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors, but also because there has to be some kind of privacy in a relationship. Your partner needs to be able to trust you to keep a secret, and it always makes things more fun when the two of you are the only ones who know about something.
So if you’ve got a girlfriend or a boyfriend or even a potential one, try taking them on an old-school date. Head out to a diner and then go see a movie. Try dressing nice. Take it easy, have fun and relax. Isn’t that what it’s all about?