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Earning her spurs

You’ve seen us before.

We’re the ones who wear jeans in 105-degree weather.

The ones who sneak into the back of class because we smell less than pleasant after a hard day’s stall-mucking.

The ones whose spurs you can hear jingling a mile away.

For five years, I, like so many other student-athletes, have labored for my team. In those years, I’ve been asked if “EE-qwest-EAR-EE-an” was a swimming and diving sport, if we rope cows and if we take our horses on planes with us when we travel.

Like cheerleading, equestrian is often not considered a sport. “The horse does all the work!” is a common jab.

People who say that have usually never ridden a horse. I suppose they think we control the thousand-pound animals with our minds alone.

That doesn’t even factor in how much more labor-intensive showing horses is than most other sports.

For instance, soccer players don’t have to mow and stripe their own fields, but we have to drag our own arena and set and tear down our own jump standards.

Football players wear protective gear, but it doesn’t restrict their movement and even breathing. A pair of Western chaps is too large if the rider can bend at the knees. English boots should require several accoutrements and/or people to assist in their removal.

Baseball players take good care of their bats and gloves, but I doubt they stay on the diamond until midnight to do that. Before a big show, people get very little sleep braiding and banding manes, clipping horses’ whiskers and scrubbing at any stubborn dirt spots.

Golfers are probably the only athletes whose competitions are close to the length of a horse show. I can’t even count the blustery February mornings I was up before dawn to get to a show. More than once, competitors surrounded the arena with their cars to provide light for the judges to see by at night.

That’s not meant to put down other sports. It’s merely a contrast. I have been proud to be called a student-athlete and to stand for Fresno State and a standard of excellence that many don’t associate with our university.

But now, that part of my life is ending and I must pass the collegiate torch to those coming in behind me. It is a very surreal feeling. I remember when I first came onto the team, an 18-year-old whose childhood dream of riding was fed by episodes of Zorro and scenes of Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels galloping into the sunset.

It seems like a lifetime ago and a moment ago.

At the end of every riding lesson, equestrian team head coach Becky Malmo points at each rider and says, “You’re done, and you’re done, and you can be done.”

She said that at the end of my last lesson on a sunny April Friday. I sat there on the worn suede seat and thought about her words.

I can be done.

I closed my eyes and felt the sun and smelled the dust of the arena and listened to the saddle creak to Sparky’s movement. I opened them and surveyed the barn’s grounds and remembered the first time I ever saw them from the back of a horse — the first time I saw the world from the back of a horse.

The horses I rode then are gone. The girls I rode with are gone. The kinds of shows I rode in are gone.

I’m the last one of the IHSA girls; the last one who remembers bus trips through California to compete on half-wild horses driven from the mountainsides of Cal Poly in galloping herds.

The last one who can tell stories about having to ride those wild horses cold turkey, praying to maintain control of the animal through some divine whim.

The last one who remembers four people to a Motel 6 room and shopping cart races in Wal-Mart parking lots while on the road.

And as these thoughts went through my mind, I looked at the silver medallion in the saddlehorn I’d grabbed so many times before and I rubbed it as if for good luck and I swung my leg off that horse for the last time. I stuck my foot under the gate to take pressure off the latch like I have so many times, and I left five years of sweat and tears behind me.

I came on to the team not knowing how to put a saddle on a horse. I left it with a national title and a lifelong passion. I reached my unreachable star.

Like so many other seniors, it’s now time for me to focus on my next impossible dream.

I wish my equestrian family blue-ribbon luck.

A nerd’s escape

Imagine that’s the weekend. I’m writing this post during the weekend, so it’s probably a lot easier for me to imagine this than for you.

This particular Saturday evening comes after three enjoyable, one passable and what might as well have been nine horrid weekdays worth of unshaven, unwashed and sometimes disinterested high school sophomores.

Imagine that this week has just passed you, belligerence and all while still imagining that it’s the weekend. Please try to do imagine with your eyes open. I don’t suppose you’d be able to continue reading if you closed them.

Stressed, you need to get away from, with or to everything. What do you do? I’m just 21, myself, and I haven’t yet cemented my favorite pastimes or prejudices. So far, I simply know what I don’t do.

I don’t go to bars because I don’t drink. I don’t go to clubs because I’m cheap. I don’t go to friends’ houses because I’m paralyzed by a fear of intruding.

I rarely go to movies in part because I’m not so sociable that I feel I must and in part because most movies sustain only my disinterest. At least, until Rotten Tomatoes tells me otherwise. I do go to all Tim Burton films, and all second sequels at a midnight showing. Both types are few and far between.

Instead, and just recently, I go to bookstores.

My town has the glory accorded to it by not one but two major nationally franchised bookstores. If you’ve ever been able to hock one across a six-lane boulevard and its median, they’re also within spitting distance of each other. I choose which store I attend by whim, or to mix things up.

I find that our Barnes and Noble’s bright lighting is fine for looking for though not reading books, and that it usually has better prices and a better selection of my favored genres. Not to be outdone, Borders’ sitting-and-reading-books-but-not-paying-for-them area is far superior, with dimmer lighting and far more comfortable armchairs.

I’ll spend a whole morning into an afternoon into an evening at exactly one seat in one bookstore. Usually, I’m leafing through something with pictures and word balloons. Heavier reading — don’t get me wrong, as some comic books are pretty heavy — is right out. Wherever I sit at either bookstore, not-Muzak’s faux flamenco and synthesized trumpets seem to blare above me.

I have Barnes and Noble’s playlist memorized from hearing it so often, so Borders again has the advantage once I return with my literary conquests.

When the intercom stops trickling out its vocal arrangement of Holst’s Jupiter to announce not the new Starbucks honey-mocha-blend Frappuccino™ but that the store will close in 15 minutes, I beat the rush and simply wobble up onto my legs.

My eyes have trouble adapting to focusing beyond 10 inches once again, but once the fuzzy people get sharper, the routine out is easy.

I make my way out to my car. I drive back to my dorm. I wait seven days. Again, I get away from it all.

Out of the house, what do you do for fun and leisure?

City Girls

I read dystopias and apocalyptic fiction. Those are by far my favorite genres. The other day, I found a real gem in some fictional footnotes in one of them.

Jack London’s “The Iron Heel” quotes John Burns, a British labor leader around the turn of the century. He was visiting Chicago when a reporter asked him what he thought of the city.

Chicago is a pocket version of Hell.

Naturally, this made some headlines at the time, prompting another reporter to ask him some months later if Burns’ opinion had changed.

Why, yes. Hell is a pocket version of Chicago.

I shared this canard with my master teacher. She had her own response.

Chicago’s always been a rough town. If New York City is the Grand Dame of American cities, then Chicago is the rough-and-tumble juvenile delinquent. Even now, Chicago has an air of respectability, but that’s just a thin veneer — there’s still some roughness around the edges.

This comment inspired a series of personifications.

Boston — Matronly great aunt with some progressive whims.

Los Angeles — Irresponsibly extravagant 530-pound second cousin, whose mobile home is characterized by tchotchke and a 42-inch flat screen TV.

New Orleans — Barfly with a heart of gold, but one who will still take the guys upstairs.

San Francisco — Weird kid sister with an esoteric, artistic side and an eye for free love. May have once been a kid brother.

Washington, D.C. — Girl scout with such charisma that she gets away with having her overpriced cookies as a front for high-risk futures trading.

Any others in this tradition?

Grooving to an unpopular beat

The first time I heard Chingy was a few years ago at my friend’s house. The song was called “Juice,” and despite its filthy lyrics, the beat stuck with me and I had it memorized before the night was over. Read more

My carbon footprint

This week is National Public Health Week. Did you know that? I didn’t. Not until I was sent to cover a presentation discussing the Valley’s climate change and what I could do about it.

The turnout was embarrassing. I showed up late, because I had class, but other than that, there were six other people there. Does no one care about their health, or their future?

Well, I came to find out that the Masters of Public Health Program was putting on the event, for the first time, and they only had a few weeks to prepare for the conference.

But, e-mails were sent out to faculty and staff, none of which were there, and booths were set up on campus earlier in the day and received a much better turn out. Maybe people don’t want to sit through a lecture when it is not required, but seeing how the topic is so prominent in our everyday lives, I expected more from students. Read more

Blood Center on campus this week and during Vintage Days

Someone wants your blood.

No, it’s not a vampire. The Central California Blood Center on-campus blood drive was launched on April 8. It’s sponsored by the Jan and Bud Richter Center for Community Engagement and Service-Learning, began at the University Courtyard Dining Hall. Read more

The joys of free ice cream

As a poor college student, I hunt for bargains and freebies whenever I can. On March 11, I made another discovery.

Each second Tuesday of each month, the Farm Market offers free samples of ice cream, featuring different flavors each month. Each flavor is picked randomly. On this particular day, those flavors were regular peanut butter and peanut butter with cookie dough, which happens to be one of my favorite flavors.

Ag students at Fresno State make everything in the Farm Market. The market serves as an outlet for everything that the students produce.

The ice cream made at Fresno State is different from other ice creams in a few ways. First, the students add in more cream than most do. Also, just about everything that is put into the ice cream has been made naturally on the Fresno State campus. The ice cream takes 15 minutes to produce and 24 hours to freeze. After it has been frozen, it is put out for consumption.

“We try to put as much in as we can,” said Cassandra Rudich, who is in charge of producing the ice cream. Read more

“Sicly Writing”

Don’t speak Internet-ese. It’s just easier that way.

I write this as a high school teacher, albeit a student teacher, who teaches writing to seniors in a government class. You’d be surprised how illiterate the vast bulk of them are – even those who aim to be freshmen again next year.

You might benefit from this advice, also.

As soon as you let an lol pass your fingertips, or even a simple ;-), you’ll end up using this shorthand in your typing more and more often. At first, you won’t notice it, but it will creep in and out of ur writing.

Then, the next week, when you’re writing your term paper, you’ll skip the squiggled red line that is the spell check. You miss the most glaring mistakes, just because your in a frenetic pace to just get it done. Sure, you’ll get another pair of tired eyes to look it over the night before it’s supposed to get turned in, but you shouldn’t chance it.

It’s easier to write well from the start. Use periods. obey the rules of capitalization. Don’t be afraid of verbs and don’t overuse conjunctions. The more you practice these rules, the easier you remember them when you must and the quicker you can write using them.

If you practice it now, you might be able to skip the editing phase in a pinch. It takes a few seconds more to write coherently, seconds that could save you during finals when you slip during finals.

Don’t make stupid errorz when it most counts, just because you want to look l33t. Its not worth it.

****

Bonus points for he or she who spots the most errors.

This adolescence

I just grew up a little. I blame student teaching.

It seems so very silly - this adolescence. As I finished my fifth straight week of student teaching, I realized that my initial observation of college remains remarkably apparent. Read more

What can be learned from Rock Band

I found a great way to waste my time.

I bought Rock Band for my Xbox 360.

It’s glorious. Read more

Blu-Ray vs. HD DVD

Blu-Ray is not going to win the war. Neither is HD DVD.

Wait, what?

You heard right. Neither format is going to win. Read more

Six crazy ways to waste time

Fish are no different than NFL players scoring a touchdown. They showboat for television.

Well, NFL players showboat for television. The fish just showboat for other fish. But probably not for sharks.

That’s just crazy. And weird. And awesome. This week, all around campus, there are events that are equally crazy and awesome.

---

1. This weekend you can meet some of Fresno State’s hottest teams and get some shopping done at the same time! Get there early and beat the tween crowd that hangs out in front of Edwards. On Saturday, Jan. 26, the equestrian team will sign autographs and greet fans at River Park’s entertainment plaza. Then, on Sunday, Jan. 27, come meet the 2008 softball and baseball teams, from 1 to 4 p.m., where you can enter to win free tickets to the home openers. Don’t get too excited about the tickets though, all you need is your ID card to get in free to the games. Instead, win them for your friends that will forget their ID card!

2. Find out about those crazy awesome fish that don’t dance for sharks this week, too. They probably won’t do the Super Bowl Shuffle. If you’ve always wanted to learn about “the communication of social information in group-living fish”, then you shouldn’t miss out on this opportunity to meet Stanford University’s Julie K. Desjardins, who will appear Friday, Jan. 25, at 3 p.m., in Science II, Room 109, brought to you by the Fresno State department of biology.

3. Feel guilty, or feel better about yourself by checking out some ethics. Find out what you’re eating, unless you’re eating dirt, which probably means that you know that you’re eating dirt. Ethically, be sure to tell all your friends, the Ethics Center Lecture Series for Spring 2008 is starting up Wednesdays from 12 to 12:50 p.m., in the Alice Peters Auditorium in the University Business Center. Topics include Jim Prince’s “What is this I’m eating?” on Feb. 6; Madhu Katti’s “Urban Beavers, Suburban Bears, and Household Geckos: On Sharing Our Habitat with Wildlife” on Feb 20; Jason A. Bush’s “The Art, Mystery, and Controversy of Stem Cell Culture” on March 12; and Ted Peters “The Stem Cell Debate: Religious and Ethical Issues” on April 23.

4. The literary folks from the MFA Program are proud to present Ewa Hryniewicz-Yarbrough Friday, Feb. 8, 7:30 p.m., in PB 191, where she will discuss the mysterious craft of poetry translation! I recommend that you write your own poem and have her translate it. Write it in pictures so it’s really hard. I’m kidding. For all those skeptics, remember that your favorite 50 Cent, Josh Groban and Guns N Roses songs are poetry. Doubtful that she’ll translate In Da Club.

5. In other literary news, award-winning novelist Page Stegner, son of Wallace, will present “Adios Amigos: Writing About the Environmental West” to the Friends of the Madden Library, Friday, Jan. 25, 6:30 p.m., in the Alice Peters Auditorium, but don’t forget to arrive early for the reception for some free food. There’s an event that knows how to do it. Give free food to the students!

6. And last but certainly not least, the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute spring kick-off is Thursday, Jan. 24, at the Satellite Student Union, where you will be treated to a preview of Spring 2008 events, including a diverse array of topics such as food safety, jazz, photography, art history, William Saroyan, and everybody’s favorite subject, neuroscience!

There you have it. Check some events out, learn something new and meet some cool people. However, as a disclaimer, it’s doubtful that you will meet some fish. If you’re feeling lonely, watch Finding Nemo.

Collegian writers Valerie Nevens, Kyle Lazarus and Sarah A. Peterson contributed to this report.

Scrabbled

Nobody here plays Scrabble, it seems, aside from me.

Last week, marked the achievement of a personal goal I set for myself some months ago — I broke a score of 400 in a two-player game.

Enthusiastic, I told some of my colleagues here.

“Joanne!” I called to The Collegian’s News editor, “I broke 400 in Scrabble last night!”

Most people would respond with words, but what came from Joanne was pure apathy. Because I did not write her response down, I will paraphrase as best I can.

“The number of things I can hear and absorb is finite — you just wasted one of them.”

It was like that, except with her eyes.

Not to be deterred, I turned to Editor-in-chief Jessica Szalay for support. She wasn’t much better.

“I think I’ve played maybe two games of Scrabble in my life.”

And then, as if to save me from an even deeper depression, a deus ex machina: faculty adviser, Jefferson Beavers, strolled into the office. He’s usually on my side.

“Hey! I finished a game of Scrabble with a score of 441 last night!”

I will take this opportunity to remind you of the standardized tests we were forced to slog through as younger students. I remember the math questions in particular, which often featured boxes filled with alternating patterns and shapes:

37. Square, Pentagon, Hexagon, Septagon, ________.

a. lexicon
b. Chexagon
c. T. Rexagon
d. I know the answer, and it isn’t listed, but it’s whatever a stop sign is.

That’s right, a stop sign.

Stop, and consider the pattern in place. What do you think Mr. Beavers said?

****

Scrabble words every serious player should know include: ja, jo, joe, joes, qi, qis, qat, qats, ax, axe, axes, ex, ox, oxes, oxen, za, zag, zags, zap, zas, zax, zo, zoa, zoo, zoos, mzee muzjiks. Cheaters, click here.

e. Tex-Mexagon?

Don’t be like Chatty Cathy

Why do women insist on talking to each other across bathroom stalls? It’s rude, and people tend to bare their stupidity for the whole commode to hear.

The other day I was in a powder room on campus when a pair of chatty ladies entered and one occupied the stall on either side of mine.

“Hey,” said Chatty Cathy to her friend, “what’s ‘purseels’?” The last word was said uncertainly. Read more

Pop Culture

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