» Timothy Ellison

I ORDERED THE NO. 3 platter at The Old Spaghetti Factory last Friday and the waitress responded with a wry smile, “The meat lover’s platter, sure.” What did she say? A meat lover? Me? It felt dirty, especially since my girlfriend was sitting right next to me.

RIGHT NOW MY roommates are watching “Braveheart.” Meanwhile, I’m in my room reading stories about King Arthur in Tennyson’s “Idylls of the King” (for a class, I swear). Somewhere in this great country of ours, a group of people is having a discussion about who our next president should be. What do these three things have in common?

TWO THINGS: who is Hannah Montana, and why are people willing to pay so much money to see her?

BEN BAXTER’S ARTICLE in this Wednesday’s Collegian got me thinking, as his articles usually do. The article told us to “find a better job by bettering yourself,” but I was disappointed that Baxter’s “a better job” meant a better paying job, and his “bettering yourself” just meant having basic time-management skills and tact.

Here I go again on my own, goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known. Yes, it’s odd when the lyrics to a Whitesnake song actually sum up what’s happening in your life. But summer has run its course. We’re all taking our usual positions in the classroom, and here we go again.
Maybe this is [...]

MOST OF MY friends are graduating this semester, so over the last few months I have witnessed all the symptoms of senioritis. In our apartment, the television is constantly on, friends are always visiting, and the front hallway has become home to a growing collection of empty liquor bottles. Classes are skipped less regularly than parties are attended.

KURT VONNEGUT IS DEAD.
Most of my favorite authors over the years have been dead guys, except Kurt Vonnegut. He was a living, breathing writer that I could count on.
As of Wednesday, April 11, 2007, all my favorite authors are dead guys.
Every last one of them.
Kurt Vonnegut’s writing is special. It means a lot to [...]

Ambiguous language of hip-hop discourse demands reconsideration
I LOVE LANGUAGE. It’s a powerful tool that helps us make sense of our world.
But sometimes I worry that words aren’t exactly enough. I worry that we lack the strong definitions necessary for effective discourse.
Consider the issue of gender roles. I have recently come upon a serious problem with [...]

OUR CAMPUS IS full of little gardens, unexpected enclaves of order and natural beauty.
One of my favorites is the romantically named Allergy-Free Demonstration Garden, just behind the Smittcamp Alumni House.
Even though it’s situated next to a busy parking lot, it’s still a relaxing place to spend an hour or two reading, admiring the plant and [...]