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Oct 16, 2018
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When Relationships Stall

I dated my ex-boyfriend for three years, and, for a long time, I let him down. I ignored things he wanted, and I let my life get out of control. Now, I’m paying for it, because he’s done with me.

 

We would fight about dumb things, like my car. He said my car was a piece of junk, and I took offense. However, he just wanted me to take better care of it. Instead, I got defensive and ignored him, until he thought the car wasn’t even safe to get into. I made other mistakes, too, like drinking too much on nights he asked me not to, and not taking the best care of my health.

 

I want another shot at this relationship, and I’m willing to make big changes. How can I do that? How can I tell my ex-boyfriend that I’m ready to be better?

 

Breakups are never easy. Experts agree that the experience can be traumatic in measurable ways. Our mental health can take a toll, because we experience feelings of loss, guilt, and shame, to name just a few.

 

It can be even tougher when we know that we made mistakes that contributed to the end of the relationship. Each of us has a right to look for a partner that suits us best, and that can mean that some breakups are nobody’s fault. However, it’s also true that we can fail to be our best selves, and in the process, let down our significant other.

 

Without knowing the full story of your relationship or the behavior of both partners, we can’t say for sure if it’s a good idea for you to try to get back with your ex. However, we can say that several of the issues you noted speak to problems in your own life.

 

Your drinking, for instance, sounds like it could be harming your personal life. We encourage you to take a frank look at your habits and see if you may have a drinking problem. You should not be binge drinking or drinking too often.

 

Also, it’s time to care for your car! An ill-maintained car can indeed be very dangerous, say experts who offer automotive & diesel technology degrees. Be proactive about maintenance and repairs so that you and your passengers feel safe on the road.

 

You can and should address these issues, regardless of whether you seek to get back with your ex. If you do want to see your ex again, the best way to show that you’re serious about making changes is to make those changes. Change now, and become a living example of the changes you’ve made!

 

However, should you try to get back together with your ex? You’ll find no shortage of dating advice on the internet, say the pros at YIntegrity, a dating and relationship blog for women. They provide thoughtful advice on how to get your ex-boyfriend back when he broke up with you. However, the site, along with other relationship experts, also emphasizes the importance of finding the right person for you. Great relationships are about balance. So, while there are always good reasons to improve yourself, you should make sure that you’re becoming the person you want to be, not the person that someone else wants you to be. You’ll have to think with care about how you and your ex used to fight. Was it your fault, or did you two have incompatible ways of dealing with issues? Were all the fights based on real mistakes you made, like excess drinking, instead of irrelevant things, or mistakes of his? Also, are all of the changes you’re seeking to make healthy? Or, are some of them just things your ex wants that you don’t? You may decide to look into proven ways to get over breakups, instead of looking for advice on how to get back together with an ex!

 

Only you and your ex boyfriend can decide if your relationship is worth another shot. However, regardless of how things end up in that department, we hope that you’ll still work hard to become the best person that you can be. Sometimes, it takes a tough break to help us see what we want from life, and we hope that you’ll find positive reasons to pursue healthy changes to your life, with or without your ex.

 

“If you carry the bricks from your past relationship, you will end up building the same house.” – kushandwizdom.tumblr

 

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