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Oct 22, 2018
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Chris Hemsworth returns as Thor in Marvel’s latest, “Thor: Ragnarok.” (Marvel)

The latest ‘Thor’ film is not worth your time. Here’s why.

“Thor: Ragnarok,” directed by Taika Waititi and written by Eric Pearson, Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost, is the third movie focused on Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth, and his adventures as Asgardian royalty.   

In this go around, Thor faces off against The Hulk, played by Mark Ruffalo, in a gladiatorial contest before defending his home Asgard from being destroyed by the villain Hela, played by Kate Blanchett.

The storyline is comparable to a student essay done with minimal effort, knowing that the teacher will barely give a passing grade. It’s as if the writers did the same with this shallow-minded film that fails to appeal to critical thinkers.

The short version of this review is simple: two thumbs down. In the longer version, sadly, I will attempt to put more thought into than the actual movie.

First, there are too many attempts at humor – which were all predictable and, frankly, not funny.

This is just another mindless Marvel film that hardly differs from the last few offerings. Do Disney and Marvel have any respect for their audience? All they do is throw together film after film with no actual legitimate story. Oh, and why so many cast members?

Having The Hulk try to fit into a Thor movie is enough. And then Dr. Strange, played by Benedict Cumberbatch, comes out of nowhere and offers absolutely no substance.

Leave the ensemble casts to the “Avengers” movies.

Thor’s adopted brother Loki, played by Tom Hiddleston, is predictably untrustworthy and doesn’t contribute to the role of the character. Hela was a fine villain with the most developed backstory of the new characters, but it wasn’t enough to captivate.

Valkyrie, played by Tessa Thompson, should have been an exciting new addition to the Marvel cinematic universe, but instead she was just used as an attractive alcoholic girl who can beat up some guys.

The attempt at creating an emotional backstory for her was a joke. Valkyrie could have been the highlight of the film if given the chance.

Notably absent from the movie was Natalie Portman, who was Thor’s love interest in the previous films.

How do you not include one of the greatest actresses of her generation in a film series that was only interesting because of her?

Portman made the first two films worth watching. I guess this is what the first two movies would’ve been like without her – boring, predictable and simple.

The slight attempt at a romance between Thor and Valkyrie failed, especially when compared to Portman’s performances in the previous films. Portman was sorely missed this time around.

I wonder if Marvel just tried to find any attractive girl they could throw at Thor, without considering that Portman’s talents would have complemented Thompson’s perfectly. That would have created a compelling trifecta of Hemsworth, Thompson and Portman.

And you never come to really care for any of the characters – maybe for Skurg, played by Karl Urban, but even that one ultimately fails.

The attempted character development of The Hulk is painful too. Marvel would have been better served leaving the character out and giving Ruffalo a stand-alone film. Disney must have realized they were incapable of that. Good for them.

The convoluted story features a pit stop on a junkyard planet ruled by the Grandmaster, played by Jeff Goldblum. I have no idea what this character contributed besides the headache with which I left the theater.

All the actors did good jobs embracing their characters. I don’t blame them for the film’s problems. I give high praise to Hemsworth and Thompson, but the story failed them. I don’t care if the great Harrison Ford had been in it. Even he couldn’t have saved this debacle.

One more thing: Have a title that the average person can say, not just the fanboys and fangirls who read the comics. Seriously, “Ragnarok?” It was bad enough finding out Portman wasn’t in it. Not being able to say the title without thinking twice is just salt in the wound.  

By far the best part of the movie was when the Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” played, only because of Zeppelin’s greatness. Jimmy Page’s riffs and Robert Plant’s vocals don’t deserve the punishment of being played over the mindless, predictable fight sequences seen in “Thor: Ragnarok.”

Disney should apologize to Plant, Page and John Paul Jones as well as send an apology to the late John Bonham’s family. Besides Zeppelin, the only redeeming quality was the fact that it ended.

If you haven’t seen the first two movies, don’t see this one. You’ll get lost.

If you have seen the other films, you still shouldn’t see it. Portman isn’t in it. The story is a mess and Disney made another blatant money grab that’s not worth the time.

“Thor: Ragnarok” is in theaters now.

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