“All the single ladies put your hands up!”

Ah singledom.

Ironically, it’s sort of a love-hate relationship.

I’m single. A simple definition (courtesy of is: “a person unmarried or not involved in a stable relationship.”

Yep, that sounds about right.

I’ve been single the entirety of my young adult life. Other than dating a person here and there, I’ve never committed to a serious, defined relationship (or if it’s your speed, relationships).

For some reason THAT little detail somehow confines you into one of two box-like categories. One: you’re afraid of the commitment of settling down, or two: you’re a prude who isn’t living life to the fullest.

It is these two ridiculous categories that have contributed to my inner struggle of being single in college.

I’ve always noticed the pedestal society puts a “defined relationship” on. Everything from the “Facebook official” status, Man Crush Monday/Woman Crush Wednesday and other social media pressures to the little remarks from family members about whether or not I’ve “found a boyfriend yet” to which I have to respond with a tight smile, “no, not yet.”

“Yet.” As in, don’t worry there’s still time for me not to be a complete failure at love.

I kid, of course. Sort of.

But for a long time that’s exactly how I would feel: like I was failing at love.

This mentality became more apparent as I watched my friends and eventually my younger sister enter a relationship. 

I was beyond happy for them, but I’m human.  A part of me wondered when it was going to be my turn or what I was doing wrong.

The answer is nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Because the thing is your relationship status doesn’t define you as a person.   Love is not a definition, love is obscure and wonderful.  For some it happens in two weeks for others it takes two years.  Like success, there’s no right time to find it. 

I know as Valentine’s Day approaches those of us who are single are reminded of that status, but rather than sulk take pride in it. There are no rules on who you can love on Valentine’s Day. Send a sweet message to your mom and dad, to your siblings or your best friends. (And eat tons of chocolate, of course).