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Crunchwrap supreme, the ultimate Taco Bell experience for college students on a budget. (Fat Louie, Creative Commons)

A classy Taco Bell affair

Let’s be real: We aren’t all eating steaks and lobster every day. But what happens when you want to drink wine every day? What do you eat with your wine? Are you feeling like Taco Bell today? Don’t let that get in the way of your craving for a glass (or three) of wine.

If we are being honest with ourselves, we are probably ordering off of the value menu. In order for there to be a college wine budget, there sure as heck is a tight food budget.  

King of the Taco Bell value menu: The bean burrito. Cue the choir bells. For this simple burrito with its creamy awkward beans, we probably want a white wine with a little bite to it – something that will cut into the cheesy goodness and melt in your mouth. For this, I suggest a dry pinot grigio.

Pinot grigio has a nice lightness and freshness to it that will elevate the heavy beany awesomeness. A few glasses of pinot grigio, and you won’t feel heavy after you eat two, or three of these bad boys. You will feast like the royalty that you are.  

While we may not always appreciate the beauty of the simple crunchy taco, we will pay homage to this classic with a tempranillo. The respectable corn shell pairs well with the full-bodied red, and the salinity of the questionable meat filling is masked by the light peppery notes in the Spanish wine.

If you want to get crazy and upgrade your taco to a nacho cheese Doritos Locos Taco, you can chose something a little juicier, like an Argentinian malbec. The heavy blackberry notes will meld with the nacho cheese and create a unique experience in your mouth. You won’t know which item you will want to bring to your mouth next.

Beware of choking hazards – many taco connoisseurs have met their fateful demises by trying to inhale wine and tacos at the same time.  

We cannot forget the breathtaking crunchwrap. This majestic beast of double tortillas and ground beef deserves a meaty red wine – something with a kick – like a petite sirah.

This wine is heavy, dark, and dry. It desires the complexity of a crunchwrap. The creamy cheese will take off the edge of dryness and the earthy notes will complement the thick corn and flour tortillas.

If the crunchwrap and petite sirah were to hook up, they would make the most beautiful food baby ever.

Lastly, for those of us with a sweet tooth, we can pick up some cinnamon twists. These little sugary crunchies are awe-inspiring on their own. But when paired with any sparkling wines, the result is divine.

While others are sipping their Champagne out of flutes in a terrance in France, you can be sipping yours in a red solo cup overlooking suburbia while munching on cinnamon twists.

The light cinnamon coating will go well with floral bubblies, especially those from Napa Valley. The texture of the twists will dissolve the moment the sparkling wine touches them, kind of like a Pop Rocks sensation. Except that it tastes a million times better and doesn’t cut up the roof of your mouth.

Now that you have some suggestions for a fancy Taco Bell night, feel free to set up a tablecloth and candles for a night in. Maybe you could even invite your significant other over to eat tacos, drink wine, watch Netflix and chill. Because you’re the classy sort of individual.