Sep 19, 2018

One-finger salute

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China to ban eating dogs, cats
China plans to end thousands of years of culinary tradition by taking dogs and cat meat off its menu. A law being drafted against animal abuse, China’s first, calls for the country’s thousands of dog butchers and dog meat restaurants to be closed down. Here at The Collegian we say it’s about time! Fido and Garfield deserve better than this!

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The iPad
While Steve Jobs and Apple have always been cutting edge and trend setters, The Collegian cannot lend its support to Apple’s newest creation; a tablet-like computer called the iPad. It’s smaller than a Macbook and bigger than an iPhone, leaving it the perfect size for (SARCASM ALERT! SARCASM ALERT!) those who can’t fit it in their pockets and don’t want it sitting on their laps.

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To all those who made the obligatory iPad, Moses joke
“Steve Jobs descended from Mount Apple with his tablet containing his 10 commandments.” Honestly, some form of this joke had to be made. Hey, it’s better than those who made the iPad and women’s product joke…

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The NFL Pro Bowl
The Pro Bowl, for some odd reason, was held yesterday, the week before the Super Bowl (thus eliminating from participation everyone who is playing for the NFC and AFC championship teams), in Miami, NOT IN HAWAII! Are we sure NBA Commissioner David Stern didn’t plant Roger Goodell in the NFL’s post to purposely sabotage the NFL like he did when he made Gary Bettman the NHL’s commissioner?

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Bathroom quizzes
As this editor was getting on his AOL e-mail account (yes, he still has one; no, you can’t make fun of him for it) a bathroom quiz was found on its home page. First question? Is it normal to go to the bathroom 10 times in a day. The answer? No. (Dang it!)

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