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53-52
Whoa! Awesome! Did you see that!? What’s that? You didn’t? What’s that? It was on some obscure cable network contrived by the Big Ten to make extra money for the conference? Oh. Well, look at the bright side, the lack of TV coverage probably prevented several thousand heart attacks in the Fresno area.

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Tebow, Nebraska, Illinois, Pitt
Championship weekend? More like, CHOKEianship weekend! Ooooooooooh, what you gonna do now huh!?!?
(Editor’s note: The opinion editor has now been ordered by Welty to take his medicine following the ‘Dogs thrilling victory. We apologize for any inconvenience.)

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Dead Days
Two days off to “study.” We’ll take it!

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Finals
…Then we get the results of our “studying” week. Not good!

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Jerry Seinfeld in Fresno
Not going to see one of the greatest comedians of all time? You, sir, may be “King of the Idiots.”

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Bill Engval in Fresno
Here’s your sign: Unless Jeff Foxworthy is coming with you, please stick to the South.

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“How much should I weigh?
It’s Google’s most searched question of the year, and proof of the wastefulness of the Internet. You know the answer people: Less!