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Fresno Monsters Mullet Night

Wear a mullet (real or fake) to the game on Friday and get in for 5 bucks. If there’s a hat trick you can even throw your mullet on the ice. This is what minor-league hockey is all about, er, aboot.

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Already cliché “Carr”
metaphor

“Bulldogs get new Carr.” “Bulldogs should test drive this new Carr.” “Carr drives offense like an old school Cadillac.” “Carr ‘breaks down’ A.K.A. injures his metatarsal.” We get it! Please “drive” this idea off a cliff.

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Big Fresno Fair

From the inebriated bull riders to the carnies, the gamblers and the bungee jumpers, there are one million and one ways to make a fool of yourself starting this Wednesday. Mullets welcome.

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Scary Ape Fossil

Thanks, scientific community, for creeping everybody out last week with your disturbing drawing of the 4.4 million-year-old human ancestor. Next time we’ll just take your word for it okay?

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Oktoberfest

Chicks in beer wench outfits. Need we say more? Yes, beer.

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TMI

Talking about prospective kids on the second date, number, gender and names (Luke and Colby) is not appropriate conversation at this point in time. If you want a third date, please refrain.