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UHS students jumping in library elevator

These kids showed curiosity befitting of a bright, creative group of 14-year-olds, and 45 minutes in an elevator is its own punishment. Who should apologize? Whoever put a high school on a college campus.

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Bum rush on free flu shots

Just because you’re in college (A.K.A. “your physical prime”) doesn’t mean you need to form a flash mob at any mention of the “F” word. It’s a flu shot, not a lifetime supply of pizza and “Family Guy” reruns.

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Cops caught playing Wii on the job

Officers on a drug bust in Fla. were caught playing Wii bowling during the raid. It’s like real-life “Superbad”: “We just wanted to show you that cops can have a fun time too!”

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Best 1-3 team in the nation

That’s what the experts say. Feels good doesn’t it? We’re also the best team in the nation called Fresno State and the best with Haisten Willis as its student newspaper opinion editor.

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Cool weather ahead

Don’t lie weather man! He says the high on Wednesday will be 76 degrees. If it happens we’ll put that many trombones in the honorary big parade.

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Megan Fox on SNL

It takes more than a pretty face and six wigs to be funny. Next time try something new, like acting. Oh, and your new movie sucks too (see There’s something missing from ‘Jennifer’s Body’).