Oct 15, 2019
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No country for bad hair

I THINK I NEED A HAIRCUT.

I don’t normally give much more than two moments’ thought about my hair or how it looks, but when it becomes an obstacle to my comfort and sight, I start getting a bit irritated.

Every few months or so, when my hair gets to that point, I get it trimmed and forget about it for a few more months. But this time, I think it’s going to have to be different.

This time, I need to go in for an overhaul.

The defining moment came last weekend, when I was hanging out with a friend and he mentioned that my hair looked “like Javier Bardem’s in ‘No Country for Old Men.’”

Dear God.

“Really?” I asked. Really really.

If you remember when the movie came out last fall or when it won several Academy Awards last spring, you might remember this: nobody had anything good to say about that haircut.

Here’s what people did say.

Chris Illey of The Guardian wrote that Bardem’s ‘do was “so repulsive, so overwhelming, it seemed to me that it was the haircut that won the Oscar for best supporting actor.”

Stephanie Zacharek of Salon called it “one of the most absurd haircuts ever committed to film.”

Bardem himself, in his acceptance speech for the best supporting actor Oscar, accused the Coen brothers — the creative minds behind the film — of “[putting] one of the most horrible haircuts in history over my head.”

So it’s gotta go, but I just don’t know what to with my hair. I’ve been wearing it this way for years. Before I knew how bad it was. Before it was ever even bad.

But now that I know it is, it’s definitely an obstacle to my comfort.

I need to ditch this hair, and fast.

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