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The Sleaze-o-meter: Republican Edition

AMERICANS DON’T VOTE FOR candidates. Americans vote against candidates.

Unfortunately, the news media has reported little of this cynicism. Instead, headlines are awash with the idea that, for once, Americans might have something positive to look forward to this Election Day. A candidate they’re excited about.

History proves the networks wrong. Our post-Watergate age of high scandal and reality television has no place for optimism. We have no business cashing in the idea that a vote really makes that much of a difference, or that it could do anything but slow our country’s inevitable spiral to oblivion.

As such, I thought I’d do my readers the service of ranking the candidates in terms of how little you could trust them. Policy has no place in this ranking — only how not-respectable they are, and how dishonest.

I watch “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” That said, it should come as no surprise that the Republican Sleaze-o-meter comes first.

1. Mitt Romney. There really isn’t any other way to characterize Romney as anything but a sleaze, someone who’d sell his grandmother for a nickel. He’d then invest his nickel in his own campaign, like the near-billion nickels preceding it.

More troubling is his tendency to switch sides on core Republican issues — abortion, for example — when it suits his campaign. Archive footage of his Massachusetts gubernatorial race might as well be of Rudy Giuliani.

He understands what’s really important, though. His hair still looks fabulous.

2. Rudy Giuliani. If you listen to him talk and actually believe what he says, ignoring his attorney-at-law mannerisms and frankly uncharismatic delivery, Giuliani has little that’s distinguishably Republican. Well, except for his attorney-at-law mannerisms and his frankly uncharismatic delivery.

Giuliani is the undisputed leader of distorting his record and those of his opponents, just to get them flustered and on the defensive. Flustered and defensive candidates, he must reason, lose support. That can only help him.

It really doesn’t help that he acts, looks, talks and philanders like a lawyer. Sleaze.

3. John McCain. Switching sides is nothing new to McCain, whose record on immigration — whatever your position — isn’t quite what he says he supports now. He’s been known for a moment or two of “political cowardice,” as he put it.

On other issues — the Iraq War troop “surge,” for one — he’s stayed remarkably adamant and stable. Of the current electable Republican candidates, readers would be well-advised to vote on behalf of McCain come Feb. 5. It’s a vote that counts twice — against Romney and against Giuliani.

4. Mike Huckabee. The Huckster is a dangerous political candidate for his own reasons, but flipping around isn’t one of them. Sure, he’ll distort his own political history as an Arkansas governor, but he’s done well to present his amiable jokester side in tandem with his evangelical ideologue side.

Unfortunately, that’s about as deep as the Huckster gets. He’d rank even lower on the sleaze-o-meter if he had all that much of a voting record to flip against.

5. Ron Paul. McCain is said to have once called this 10-term Texas congressman “the most honest man in Congress.” That’s according to the Paul campaign’s Web site.

If you’re voting on integrity, vote Paul. Of course, that also means you’re voting for the gold standard and the freest free-market economy Ayn Rand ever dreamed of. For most modern Republicans, adding in his largely isolationist, anti-Iraq-War foreign policy is just the icing of a poisoned cake.

Pragmatic Republicans should avoid Huckabee and Paul, as supporting those campaigns indirectly supports Romney’s and Giuliani’s campaigns. That’s the reason McCain stands the best shot of winning the nomination. Clear-thinking Republicans know the threat Romney and Giuliani pose.

Voting against them is the only vote that makes sense.

Democratic candidates will follow in the Monday, Feb. 4 edition of The Collegian.

Campus Speak

Do you have any Super Bowl traditions? What are they?

“We just get a bunch of friends — my family’s friends, friends we’ve always known — we just get together. Usually the Super Bowl falls near my dad’s birthday. We just sit there and watch the game.”

Angelo Jimenez
Civil Engineering
Freshman

“My family usually doesn’t do much, but I’ll get my friends together. We’ll get some tri-tip, usually. We all barbeque together. Everyone brings a dish and we all just have fun and watch the game.”

Jose Moreno
Biology
Freshman

“We just have a big family reunion. We hang out, have a big meal, watch the game and root for our favorite team.”

Darah Vanvranken
Biology: Physiology and Anatomy
Sophomore

“I don’t really have a Super Bowl tradition. If I don’t work, I’m usually at my fraternity house watching it. Last year we had a big party.”

Davide Ghilarducci
Liberal Studies
Senior

“We just sit around on Sunday and enjoy each other and relax. Pretty much every Sunday is the same — it’s not like there’s more emphasis because it’s Super Bowl Sunday. We’re pretty much religious about watching football, so it’s kind of sad that it’s the last game of the year.”

Bobby Lepori
Communications
Senior

Fun and Games — 01/30/08

Fun and games for Wed., Jan. 30, 2008.

Read more

ASI and Fresno community hope to improve ‘Sin City’

El Dorado Park, more commonly known as “Sin City” to most Fresno State students, is finally getting the attention it needs.

Read more

Students don’t witness Bulldogs’ last-minute loss

Monday night’s game against Boise State might have been one of the most exciting moments in recent Fresno State men’s basketball history.

With just three seconds left in the fourth quarter of play, senior Kevin Bell hit one free throw with three seconds on the game clock and had one more to shoot.

The first free throw brought the Bulldogs within one point of tying an emotional game against one of the most talented teams in the Western Athletic Conference (WAC). The entire Save Mart Center crowd was on its feet in anticipation but there was no roar – just silence.

Bell hit the second shot and tied the game. The ‘Dogs then scrambled in order to keep the ball from being inbounded, but a Boise State player got the ball and sprinted down court.

When the player got within 27 feet of the rim he pulled up – the crowd gasped for air. The shot didn’t fall and the gasp of air turned into a roar that made a face-numbing amount of noise, driving chills my spine.

The arena then turned into a celebration, the crowd was full of people on their feet, some of them giving one another a high-five, and others hugging. This was the type of environment that facilitates a win in any sport.

The ‘Dogs eventually lost the game in overtime after a game-winning attempt by Bell rolled off of the side of the rim — but that’s not the point.

The point here is that a crowd can provide an intangible element that can facilitate a team’s success. It’s called support. The crowd was there to support the ‘Dogs through every lead gained and lost, and at the end of the day it meant more than you may think.

Bell said when a crowd creates an environment, it is the team’s job to not only feed off of the energy, but exceed it.

“We have one of the best crowds in the country,” he said.

Monday’s crowd gave the team plenty of energy to feed off of, and was a great example of why the ‘Dogs are currently No. 33 in the NCAA in average attendance, according to Fresno State Athletic Media Relations. Though all of that was in place, there was still one important missing element – a student section.

It is understandable that the student section may be a little dry because of a Monday night game. Students have school the next morning, and probably tons of homework to do. Academia is a priority.

On the other hand, the student section hasn’t really packed out yet this season. Where are the students at the games this year?

I’m sure you’ve either heard of or seen perennial NCAA teams on TV. Teams like Florida, Duke, Georgetown and Kansas have fans come together to make a ruckus-filled wave of collegiate color.
Those teams have crowds that make enough noise to break the most poised of players. More importantly, they have packed student sections that get the crowd to support their team.

It’s an element that makes good teams great, and is the way college programs break into the top 25.

This isn’t a rag on student participation at men or women’s basketball games; it’s more of a public service announcement.

The message here is that tickets to the game are free, people. It’s always a good time, and much more enriching and entertaining than sitting on your couch and watching “Life of Ryan,” or whatever semi-reality TV show you’re into right now.

‘Dog Bites

The Fresno State women’s basketball team lost 82-62 at Boise State on Monday at the Taco Bell Arena.

The loss dropped the ‘Dogs record to 11-9 and 6-1 in the Western Athletic Conference (WAC). The loss also snapped their nine game winning streak. Boise State improved to 13-6 and 5-2 in the WAC.

LaShaunte Stevens scored the most points for the Bulldogs. She led the team with 17 points and five rebounds.

Jaleesa Ross added 12 points, three of those from a three-pointer she scored late in the game.

Bailey Amundsen grabbed a team-high five rebounds.

Fresno State had to go on a 14-5 run just to close within eight at halftime.

In the second half, the Bulldogs never gained on Boise State’s lead. Fresno State shot 33 percent from the floor and out-rebounded Boise, 38-31.

On Thursday, Fresno State will face off against Nevada at the Save Mart Center. Tip-off is at 7 p.m. The game will be broadcast on Comcast Channel 14.

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