Dorm food really not that bad
By Benjamin Baxter | October 31, 2007
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It would be a shame to throw away my perfect sandwich.
It may look like an ordinary pastrami, roast beef and pepper jack with mustard on wheat, but it is also a work of art. It was made with such care and diligence that it is as perfect as a sandwich can be.
The service at the dorms, when there is service, is excellent.
Exactly three slices each of the meats and cheese are folded in perfect precision; the mustard is an immaculately thin smear, and the dab of hot sauce I brought to the table gives my sandwich frightening power.
I reiterate: it is perfect.
It’s not unusual for students to criticize the dorm cafeteria for having largely inedible food, but that’s because students, for some reason, ignore the reliable, old standbys: sandwich, waffle, chicken tenders and dry cereal.
Most meals you’ll find three of those, if not all four, somewhere in the Residence Dining Hall.
For breakfast, I throw in made-to-order eggs and the breakfast sausage or bacon. For lunch, I sometimes even take a chance on the entrée, but that’s rare like a Boise State loss. I’ve done it once this semester.
However, for the sake of my digestion and appetite, I avoid anything but those four edibles.
The food isn’t all that bad, as long as you learn to avoid what doesn’t suit your palate.
Maybe I’m just a fat man who likes his fried foods — in fact, that’s exactly what I am — but there’s nothing wrong with the food I choose to eat at the dorms.
I just choose well.
I’m in no position to complain, in any case. It’s better than what I’d cook myself.
****
In other news: nation’s plutocrats to take long, hard look at someone other than everyone else; I think online colleges should have fantasy football; and college grads sick of Starbucks seek comfort in awkward former idiom.
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6 Responses to “Dorm food really not that bad”
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Looks like the Dorm Daily has started printing dirt on Baxter until he changes his tone.
The Collegian Staff Comment
Future Squirrel Stuffer
Well… no. Not the case at all.
The fried food selection was pretty horrible about three or four years ago. Mostly chicken wings, fries, nasty burritos, burgers. I stuck with the cold cut sandwhich aisle for lunch and dinner after the second week of school. I realized that the breakfast was a disgrace and stuck to Nutrigrain bars and orange juice in the minifridge. But really, nothing beats hanging with the gang at The Max.
Mass producing food Buffet style is usually not going to be up to par as a sit down restaurant where they prepare your dish with care. You know by the cheep parsley sitting next to the olive that everyone eats like it is the desert.
Anyways, im going to have to try this perfection one of these days. Sounds good. Of course I am going to need your help.
now for the poking fun at
How the hell can you print dirt? At first I thought Baxter was writing this to get his PR back up. But, then as i read on, his humor that appears in his other articles was subtle. He successfully fooled you all!!! he still complained but the message was so hidden that it slipped right under your noses. Notice that he says he gets a sandwich every time. He only touches the stuff that he knows that nobody can mess up and make nasty.
Kudos for the PR boost!
It’s University Courtyard Dining Hall, not Residence Dining Facility or Residence Dining Hall. Perhaps you should retake Dr. Rice’s MCJ 10 class?
The Collegian Staff Comment
Future Squirrel Stuffer
Whatever. If I cared, I’d let you know.